It would be disingenuous and insincere for me to pick up blogging regularly again and not address the times in which we’re living in. What more can I say about 2020 that has not been said already? How many times have you heard and read “We’re living in unprecedented times?”. We are. I get it. But somehow that still fails to adequately capture the humanity of what we are going through.
I live on my own. In a city where I don’t have friends and family close by, so the past 7 months have been extremely challenging for me. In addition to the stress and anxiety of living and trying to be productive through a pandemic, I’ve been doing it on my own. My heart goes out to the other singles out there because I know how lonely, isolated, and frustrating it can get. Well-meaning video calls and chats simply can’t replace the feeling of human interaction and contact. My eating habits went out the window, my sleeping patterns became erratic and I barely did any exercising. Aside from my physical health (which I knew I could eventually get back on track) my mental health has also suffered.
I often wonder about the lasting effects of COVID, not only on people who’ve contracted the disease but on the psyche of the collective after the pandemic is over. Of all the things that have changed in the last 7 months, my relationship with my anxiety has seen the biggest shift.
I’ve started viewing my anxiety differently. The shift started with a meditation series I’m doing on the app Headspace (if you don’t already use it I highly recommend it for guided meditation) which challenged me to frame anxiety differently. I stopped labeling my anxiety as bad. Anxiety is a natural, normal reaction to stressful situations. It is neither good nor bad. When it becomes an intense, excessive, and persistent worry and fear about everyday situations that affect the quality of life, then it becomes a problem. My aim is to gain a deeper understanding of my anxiety. Discover what triggers it, how it manifests itself physically, and dissect how it makes me feel. I’d never stopped to actually think about this (let alone write it down and reflect on it) instead, my aim was to suppress my anxiety, tell myself I’ll be fine, and try to meditate it away.
Outfit
Bodysuit | ZARA
Belt | ZARA
Skirt | H&M
Shoes |Gia Couture x Pernille Teisbaek
Bag | Celine
Dealing with my anxiety from this vantage point allows me to feel more in control, but more importantly, it’s a big step in the direction of self-mastery and awareness. Don’t get me wrong I still have days where I battle to pull myself out of bed in the morning and feel fatigued for the whole day, but at least now I can identify the symptoms, see them for what they are and not allow them to consume me.
Images by Sights by Lieto
