Out of all the questions I’ve been asked about my Bali trip, the most common one is “Did you really travel all by yourself?”. It’s usually accompanied by a naughty grin, almost like the person asking me knows something I don’t know. Yes. I traveled to Bali all by myself. I’m not sure why this is so hard for people to believe. I’m a pro at being independent. I do what I want to do when I want to do it. I want to watch a movie? I book a ticket for myself. I want to go eat at a hot new restaurant? I make a reservation for one. Plays, dinners, brunches, art galleries, long drives… I’m happy to do all these things on my own, so traveling is simply an extension of that. I really don't see it as a big deal.
I believe people don't travel alone because they fear looking lonely, or fear looking like they don’t have anyone. Sometimes I also think that people are simply just too afraid to be left with their own thoughts for an extended period of time. I’m of the opinion if you cannot enjoy time on your own, why would you expect someone else to enjoy spending time with you?
Bali was not my first solo trip abroad and it won’t be my last. Solo travel is transformative and educational for me. I return with a greater understanding of the world, but more importantly a greater understanding and appreciation of myself. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve traveled with friends in the past, and I’ve enjoyed that too. It’s great to know you always have someone to lean on, chat to, help with directions and have drinks with at odd hours. Traveling solo appeals to me for exactly those same reasons, just the inverse. I only have myself to rely on, I’m forced to speak to new people and if I get lost I only have myself to help find the way. It’s impossible to travel alone and not discover new layers of yourself, which you very likely would not have uncovered had you been traveling with a partner. Here are a few perks of traveling solo.
- You learn new things about yourself | Self-discovery is by far the best reason to book one flight ticket to an exotic destination. Not only are you discovering and learning about new cultures and traditions, but you also gain a deeper understanding of who you are. Spending time on your own, when you don’t have anyone to support you or act like a crutch reveals who you are to yourself.
- Freedom to dictate your own schedule | When traveling you have whole days to plan, to see as much as you can and relax as much as you can. If you feel like shopping the whole day you don’t have to worry about a friend who would rather be doing something else. If you want to go to a particular site and decide that it actually isn’t as interesting as you thought and you want to leave, you don’t have to worry about someone else enjoying their time and cutting their fun short. When traveling with people you can split up and spend some time on your own, but that’s just a few hours. It's not the same. Knowing there is no one waiting for you to return to the hotel, or to meet at a common meeting spot gives you a heightened feeling of freedom and liberation. You can change your mind on a whim, spend days doing nothing, or alternatively pack your schedule to maximize your time on holiday. Traveling does not come cheap, the only way to know you’re getting the most value out it is to do what you want, when you want.
- You are more approachable | This is both good and bad, but for the purposes of this post, I’ll focus on the good. It's easier to ask someone walking by themselves for directions or to request that they take a pic. I have ended up having drinks and meals with people that I met that way. Hearing their stories, and speaking to people from all over the world who happen to be in the same country as I, would very likely not have happened had I been traveling with a companion.
- You focus more on the destination | A few years ago I went to LA with friends. We spent a weekend at Coachella which was mind-blowing, followed by a few days in LA. After coming down from the high that was Coachella, I was excited to explore LA and see how it compared to New York, my favorite travel destination. I wasn’t in LA for long but looking back now I believe I would have utilized those few days more effectively and gotten to know the city better had I traveled alone. Because of that, I don’t feel like I actually even visited LA and would like to return to give the City of Angels another shot. Traveling solo forces you to immerse yourself in your surroundings. You’re more aware of your surroundings and it’s easier to pick up quirks and characteristics of the city which are very easy to miss when you're traveling with companions.
- You get to indulge yourself fully | Traveling solo is the one time you can be totally selfish. You are all that matters. You have the opportunity to experience new surroundings unfiltered by the prejudices, tastes or preferences of anybody else. As women, I know it can be hard to be selfish because we’re often making decisions based on the well-being of other people. Whether it's a significant other, friend, child, mother, father… Traveling solo allows you to press the pause button on being concerned with other people, and gives you the opportunity to focus on yourself.
- Distance puts things into perspective | Nothing humbles me more than traveling does. Traveling to a place where nobody knows your name, and your country is merely associated with one man or an event makes you realize how insignificant you really are in the greater scheme of things. Every time someone asked me where I was from and I responded South Africa, the only references they could think of were Nelson Mandela and the 2010 World Cup anthem Waka, Waka. And that’s if I was lucky. Otherwise, my answer was met with a blank stare. My issues, problems, stresses and the difficulties I deal with every day seem insurmountable while I’m in them, but as soon as I take a step back and see the woods for the trees, I realize that my obstacles aren’t as bad as I thought they were. Having the opportunity to deal with them while I'm on my own, in a far away place gives me the space to reflect. Anonymity is therapeutic and it allows me to come home feeling like a brand new woman.
I really could go on forever. The main message I want to leave you with is, do not be afraid to travel. These are just a handful of reasons why I believe it's a great way to spend your vacation, but there are more. Traveling solo is daunting at first but once you arrive at your destination you can't help but feel liberated. Knowing you're able to navigate your way around the world builds your confidence unlike anything else can. If travel is something that interests you and you don't have a companion to travel with you, don't let that stop you. Book your flight and prepare yourself for an eye-opening experience filled with memorable experiences.
Dress | DAUN & Co
Headwrap | Ntozinhle
Neckpiece | Ntozinhle
Flops | Havaianas
Photographs | ADW Photography
Location | Melasti Cliffs
Being a naturally introverted person, I relish in the idea of having a solo adventure. I recently mentioned it to my partner and as can be expected the question of ‘why would you want to travel by yourself?’ came up. I really couldn’t explain why (maybe because I didn’t want to sound selfish lol) but I know there’s a deep yearning to experience a different town or country by myself.
Enjoyed the post!
Author
Hi Vuyelwa,
I know exactly what you mean. Planning a solo vacay when you’re bae-ed up can be tricky because you don’t want it to seem like you don’t want to travel with your partner when it really has nothing to do with them. It’s all about you and how you feel. Trying to explain this without seeming self-serving is a challenge but I’d suggest maybe planning something else with bae, so he/she doesn’t feel left out.
This is beautiful and inspired me to finally plan a solo trip. I’ve been wanting to do it for as long as I can remember. The time is now!
Author
Hi Manaileng,
I’m so excited for you! Where are you planning to go? I’d love to know more!
I’m so happy I inspired you to travel solo!!!
xoxo
I did three weeks in New York by myself. Best decision ever! I planned my trip around what I wanted to do & didn’t have to consider anyone else (mainly music gigs & arty type vibes, which my friends would’ve hated). I would get lost & giggle to myself about it. Look, I genuinely enjoyed my own company & grew from the experience.
I love this post Kea 😉
Author
Thank you! Firstly it was lovely meeting you the other day!
Three whole weeks?!? WOW! New York is a beautiful place so you chose the perfect location to roam solo. Sometimes it’s just best to indulge yourself fully and do you for a few weeks.